cool bug

Depression is lying in bed, starving and in pain, yet not having the physical nor emotional energy to go up the stairs, to deal with people, to decide on something, to prepare it, and to eat it without collapsing somewhere along the line.

Depression is simultaneously knowing you must do something and feeling powerless to do anything.

So I may be moving out, on the recommendation of both my therapist and psychiatrist.

My father has been driving me mad lately. There are a million little things he expects me to do every day, and it’s becoming very stressful. I think it would be much easier if I only had to look after myself and perhaps a roommate. When I lived with a friend before, it was the best time of my life—even despite the hardships and shortage of funds we consistently faced.

The thing is: I doubt I could afford a place of my own given my current pay, and I don’t think I know anyone else who is looking for an apartment.

If I could just get in a situation where I only had to be responsible for me and paying my bills each month, I would be so much better. (That’s presuming I could manage the extra work hours I would need to make enough money to cover costs. I have just increased my hours at work, so: we shall see.)

Aww. I just realized that because I’m not in school this semester, my access to the online version of the O.E.D. has been revoked =(

I wanted to investigate when people started using the word ‘virtually’ to mean ‘to a severe extent,’ because I hear it often and it’s always seemed off to me. Like when it’s said that something is ‘virtually impossible.’ There has to be a better word for the context.