May 2012
portofmorrow:
My mother called me to tell me that there must be a God because it rained on a day when she didn’t want to water the lawn and I said, “Weather exists. Take that, atheists.”
She thought I was serious and got really happy about my new-found faith.
portofmorrow:
mspendrew:
portofmorrow:
mspendrew:
portofmorrow:
portofmorrow:
I really love doing math.
(unpopular-opinions.tumblr.com)
By “doing math,” of course I meant having sex with math like the wild stallion it is.
Hi I’m math.
Hey, baby. Ready to multiply?
There’s the problem of the LONG DIVISION between us.
“Think of it like trying to roll 12 “sixes” on twelve dice in one roll. That has...”
– My brain. (via nyquilontherocks)
“You know when, sometimes you meet someone so beautiful. Then you actually talk...”
– Amelia Pond (via decrepito)
April 2012
ricksantorummpreg:
When people think “Pro-Choice” means “Pro-Abortion”
gweebog:
gweebog:
dad melted the chinese so i haven’t had dinner
okay this was badly worded my dad has not committed genocide repeat there was no genocide involved
“Dear Ernest,
Did you like the book? For God’s sake drop me a line and tell me...”
– Scott Fitzgerald to Ernest Hemingway, 1934 (the book was Tender is the Night)
ravens-nest:
queentimelady:
shercocklocked:
sting-like-a-tracker-jacker:
hazelgustus:
literallysame:
liam-gayne:
when you try your best but you don’t succeed
when you get what you want but not what you need
could it be worse
when you love someone
but it goes to waste
when you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
when you lose something you cannot replace
And...
6 tags
TW:suicidal depression.
I feel trapped.
I parked my car on the street last weekend, and didn’t think to check on it until today. It could have been towed for being parked where it was on a weekday. I couldn’t help thinking on the frantic run to find out that it would have been such a devastating thing for me.
And I got to it, and it was fine. But then I thought about all the...
nicklesen:
she wears short skirts
i wear t-shirts
she’s cheer captain and
ＩＭ ＴＨＥ ＤＡＲＫ ＬＯＲＤ ＳＡＴＡＮ
Every time I see the word "absence" my brain...
chekhovandowl:
“I apologize for my abstinence.”
“Your abstinence in this class will not be excused except for reasons of extraordinary need.”
“Your abstinence cost us an A on our group project!”
vondell-swain:
i want to make everybody aware that it is not possible for me to care any less about astrology
marththebland:
if poland didn’t want germany to invade them then they shouldn’t have been dressed like that
spectronizergo:
help
everyone i love is at least two states away
pornthisway:
if you read this we’re now dating you have no choice
spencersmithsbeard:
plow twist: tim burton stars in a johnny depp film.
4 tags
/steps away from tumblr for three days
/returns
78 new pages of dashboard.
8 tags
Watchthingskristinanddanniellesay:
How physical appearance
shouldn’t matter - EIG: Ep 46
Kristin: You never hear people be like, ‘Ugh, I met this girl the other day and her vagina was so-‘
Dannielle: ‘-was so funny.’
Kristin: ‘Her vagina had the best personality.’
