I know we don’t always have the best relationship and we’re not really that close any more. However, I’d like to ask that you stop making me have major crushes on adorable people who I don’t stand a chance with.
Furthermore, I’d like to ask that when I actually get a chance to talk to one of these adorable people, you don’t just leave me to fend for myself. You’re supposed to be my wingman! Come on.
Thank you for your consideration.